House Cleaning at Mary's Place

Tony organized a group of us to go over to Mary's basement apartment on Family Day to help clean up. In this picture are Dickie, Tony, Iris' brother (I can't figure out an English name for him still), Iris, me and Tony's friend Brian (sitting).

We each were assigned an area to work in. Dickie and Brian started in the bedroom and I started in the kitchen. Tony, Iris and her brother were in the living room area first, but Tony moved into the bedroom closet later and Iris joined me in the kitchen. We passed things to her brother to either be recycled, given to Goodwill or thrown out.

Mary was like Tony and I in some ways. She liked to "collect" things. If you have a large place it's not that big of a deal. But, if you're confined to a smaller space then it tends to shrink rather rapidly. We all had that problem. I found some rather old food items in her cupboard. Some I'll try to eat. Others weren't worth taking the risk.

Dickie found some neat things. Mementos of her travels through Europe back in the 50's or 60's. That was pretty cool to see. Tony will go through a lot of the things and decide where to send them. Some items will go to her relatives if they wish to have them. Mary wasn't extremely close to many of her surviving relatives. None lived nearby and none were able to make it to her funeral unfortunately.

Tony will try to give other items to different organizations depending on whether or not he thinks they have historical value or some other worth to each particular group. Mary had a lot of different interests from stone carving to painting to sewing and knitting. As well, she was one of the few Asian women in the Canadian military in World War II. So Tony will try to work all that out when he can.

We spent four or five hours there and got through a reasonable amount of stuff. But, I believe there's still quite a bit more to do. Tony thinks we're at least half way through, but I'm not so sure about that. We still have to find a home for her bedroom set as well. Whew.

Mary Ko Bong's Funeral

Today (Tuesday, February 1st, 2011) was Mary Ko Bong's viewing and funeral. It was held at Rosar-Morrison Funeral Home & Chapel on 467 Sherbourne Street south of Wellesley. I got there early with my friend. Ed, from our church was already there. He was waiting downstairs where the coffee machine was. The next people to arrive were Mary's neighbours, a young couple named Nicole and Chris. They were actually the people who found Mary that fateful Monday last week.

It was good to have a chance to talk with them. Beforehand we had only received sparse details of what may have happened to her. They cleared things up for us a bit by telling us what they knew. We knew she was found outside, but not much more. During the week Tony updated me saying that she had gone out shopping at No Frills. Nicole and Chris mentioned that they found her sitting, passed away, in her walker right in front of her door. Her keys to the door were at her feet. She had an emergency call pendant, but she never used it. Tony thinks she may have walked to the No Frills. I believe Chris and Nicole mentioned that another neighbour saw her being dropped off at her place by a taxi. It was an extremely cold weekend last week. And the sidewalks in her neighbourhood weren't cleared of snow very well. I'd be a bit surprised if she did venture out in such conditions. But, as many people have said, she was quite independent, possibly even headstrong. So you never know. Anyway, Nicole and Chris, said she looked peaceful when they found her. We were certainly glad to hear that.

Pastor Tom led the service. He, too, spoke about Mary's independent spirit. He also mentioned she visited the boarding homes with me (though he got the details wrong). He thought the people we visited were homeless or had drinking problems or something. They actually have mental illness. He also related a story about how Mary had made a small cross with a poem for his daughter Justine when she went off to university (Western Ontario). It was a sweet gesture to keep her spirits up while she was away from home.

Tony and a lady named Dora spoke too. Dora spoke about Mary's military service. How she was one of the few Chinese women to enlist in the Canadian army in World War II back in 1943. She was a instrument mechanic in Hamilton. They made optics for binoculars and compasses. As well she did entertainment the troops. She had classical training in both singing and dancing.

Tony spoke about her different interests such as stone carving and painting. Many of Mary's rock club members were in attendance. As well he talked of her adventurous spirit like when she worked in a hospital in England and traveled solo across Europe. I believe she mentioned to me at one time that she hitch hiked while she was over there.

Tony did a lot of work over the past week in preparing for the funeral. As the picture above shows he gathered quite a few items including family photos, artwork and carvings to give us a glimpse of the well rounded woman she was. It was a lovely tribute to a wonderful lady. Anyone lucky enough to meet her was truly blessed. Thank-you, Mary.

Rest in Peace Mary

I'm deeply saddened to report the passing of dear friend, Mary Ko Bong, at age 93. I received an e-mail from my friend Tony Lai informing me of the news this morning. I'll re-post it here so you can see the details.

Dear Elders and friends

I regret to inform you of the passing of Mary Ko Bong. She was found this morning outside her apartment by a neighbour. I'm afraid I have little information at the present time.

I would be grateful if you would ensure all the relevant CPC people are informed. I'm thinking of people like Elizabeth Kwan (?) Anna Lee (?) and Alice Yeh.

We all knew Mary as a fiercely independent woman, who knew what she wanted and constantly reached for those things and rose to all sorts of challenges and survived the impossible. May she rest in peace, freed from the frustrating infirmities of recent years. Sadly for many of us but perhaps better for her I like to think she can dance her ballet and flamenco again, sing her heart out, and now do the arts and crafts she loved and even learn a few more.

Tony

My friend Daphne and I just visited Mary less than two weeks ago. We had a wonderful talk with her in her little basement apartment. We had seen her photos with her and her father and brothers in uniform and I wanted to go back and take a few pictures of her in them. She served in the Second World War and still had three uniforms in her closet.

Daphne was just out recently looking to buy her a winter coat too. When we were getting ready to leave Mary commented that she liked Daphne's coat. So Daphne went out looking, but couldn't find her size yet. She was planning on going again today after work.

We'll miss you and your wonderful stories Mary. I hope you're in heaven now smiling down on us ~

Visiting Mary

Daphne and I went to visit Mary from my church yesterday. The weather hasn't been that great lately and we figure Mary could use some groceries and some company. It's been cold and it snowed a few times making it difficult to get around. Mary is 93 after all and is a little on the fragile side. Daphne has been shopping with Mary before so she knew what sort of food she likes. So, earlier in the day, she went out and bought some stuff and brought it down.

We had a nice visit. After first arriving Daphne put everything away in Mary's refrigerator. Mary was already watching some TV. She doesn't have cable and the channel she was watching was flickering a bit. So, I tuned it by turning a few knobs one way or another. The Big Bang Theory was on on CTV. It's a popular sitcom.

Mary's friend Valerie had given her a few shots she took at our friends' (Tony and Iris) wedding. We took a look through them. We also saw some shots around Mary's place of her and her dad and three of her brothers. They were in uniform having served in the Canadian military back in World War II. Mary still has three uniforms. One is for summer, one for winter... I forgot what the other one is for. I said I'd bring my camera next time to take photos of her in them.

Mary also showed us some of her soapstone carvings. She has a few wrapped up. At one point she joined a group once a month to do carvings. I can't remember if she's currently going or not. The picture above is one of her carvings of a fish.

As usual, Mary told us a lot of stories about her life growing up. Like my dad, she attended Central Tech. I don't know what my dad took there. Mary said she took a 2-year watchmaking course.

Mary told us more about her life out in Victoria, B.C. We had heard some of it before. She may have been one of the youngest of seven siblings. Her brothers and sisters were kind of mean to her because she was the littlest. They picked on her and made her do most of the chores like chopping kindling and doing laundry. A lot of things were done by hand back then. Poor Mary.

Anyway, we stayed kind of late, until ten to eleven. I thought Mary went to bed earlier, but I guess not. She didn't seem sleepy or anything. It was nice chatting with her again. I'm sure she enjoyed it as much as we did. Until next time...

Dinner with Auntie Mary

After the wedding ceremony everyone went down from the sanctuary to the gym for refreshments and to take group shots. Daphne stayed with Auntie Mary until I finished.

We went to Chinatown afterwards. Auntie Mary wanted to go shopping for food. I waited in the car while they walked around.

After they finished shopping we went to Rol Jui for dinner. We order Auntie Mary some fish congee and Daphne and I split a plate of beef and tomato on rice and chicken and tofu on rice. They also brought us some soup as a starter and some sweet, green bean soup for dessert. It's kind of like red bean soup, but not red. It was tasty.

It's always great going out with Auntie Mary. She always has a lot of interesting stories to tell.