When Death Catches You Off Guard

From December 2015 @ Tom and Florianne's.

Death has been revolving around my life more and more in recent days. As I wrote about previously, the sudden (to me) death of CBC radio personality, Stuart McLean, happened on Wednesday. On Thursday, a young lady who attended the Knox Youth Dinner on Tuesday evenings was murdered in her apartment on Dawes Road. And Friday was the first anniversary of our friend Tom Chan's passing.

Now, I didn't know Stuart McLean personally. Nor did I know the lady, Michelle Riley, who attended Knox. I only saw her in passing as we walked the halls. That was about it.

Tom was a friend from hockey. We saw each other on a weekly basis through winter. After some time he reached out to me and invited me over to his and Florianne's place for get togethers. I will always appreciate his kindness and hospitality. He was truly a great guy.

The thing about these deaths, and many others, is they happened unexpectedly. One day the person is here, the next day they are gone. It's especially difficult for their loved ones. Though, in some cases, they may have had an inkling something was wrong (if the person was elderly or sick).

But, to their cursory friends, sometimes death comes as a shock. That can be really hard. Especially if you never got the chance to personally say, good-bye. To express your gratitude for their friendship, to hold their hand and tell them you care for them and that you'll miss them. That's the heartbreaking part in stories like this.

Good-bye, my friend.

Buskerfest Day 2 - Bonus

Clockwise from top-left; Andy, Georgette, Jeff and Rosa, Georgette and Jenn.

Here are the pictures Peter took of me and my friends at Buskerfest. Coincidently I bumped into a number of them at or near the intersection of Yonge and Gerrard within minutes of each other. It was kind of weird, but cool.

How to be Happy

Not my photo.

Now I don't claim to have all the answers in the never-ending quest for happiness. But one thing I believe contributes greatly towards achieving that goal is having meaningful relationships with others. This could include good friends and/or family (parents, your partner, children, etc.) among others.

Let's face it... we all need times of solitude where we step back and recharge our batteries. But too much of it really sucks. And being surrounded by strangers in the hectic downtown core doesn't cut it. You can still be lonely in a large city if you haven't made any significant connections.

I know individuals who live in group homes. They're surrounded by people most of the day. But are they happy? Most of the time, no. Because these people are just that - people, not friends. So they're lonely, bored and unhappy.

If you're alone in a new city I'd suggest finding groups of like-minded individuals to hang out with. There are all manner of groups that do different activities (e.g. badminton, hiking, painting or even table games). Seek them out and become a member.

You can also do volunteer work. There is no end to the organizations that would appreciate whatever skills you can bring to the table. And, as a bonus, you'll get to meet new people.

If you're religious you can go to a church, mosque or synagogue to worship and fellowship with other believers. As well, according to some published data, regular church attendance can add years to your life. Another added benefit!

So, what are you waiting for? Get out there and be happy!

The Grid - Burger Week

My friend Gabe and his foodie friends went out on Friday night for a burger run downtown along Ossington. It was The Grid's (entertainment paper) Burger Week. 67 restaurant locations around the city offered $5 burger deals for people to try. Peter and Emily were the main organizers. Four others; Gabe, me, Fiona and Justin tagged along.

We met in the Queen and Ossington Avenue area. Peter was there first. Gabe drove Emily, Fiona and myself. Justin came on his own from work out in Mississauga.

Our plan was to go to certain restaurants on the list and order take out. We would halve the burgers and share one between two people. Then we would head to the next restaurant and repeat until we were full.

The first snag we hit was that many of the restaurants didn't offer take out; you had to dine in. So we had to skip a few until we found one, The Lakeview (on Dundas, just east of Ossington), that did. Their burger was a beef patty with maple caramelized onions, lemon-chive mayo, onion fritters, fries, and salad with honey-balsamic vinaigrette.

It was quite busy (as were most restaurants involved with the promotion), so we had to wait awhile for our order to come. When it did we headed outside and ate it on the sidewalk before heading to our next destination. I have to say the burger was a bit dry.

The next restaurant was literally around the corner on Ossington. It was the Dakota Tavern. They offered a brisket/hanger steak/chuck blend with grilled Vidalia onion, cheddar, lettuce, tomato, house-made pickle, and chipotle mayo. It was fine.

We headed up to College Street next where we tried to get into a few restaurants. A lot of them were too busy so we couldn't get in. We finally managed to get into Hadley's which served a ground chuck and bacon with pineapple relish, smoked provolone, and wasabi mayo burger. I'm guessing it was fine. I can't quite remember. I guess it didn't make much of an impression on me.

Next we pretty much went on a wild goose chase. We headed back east along College and walked into The Caledonian. The seated us on the back patio (where it was still sprinkling rain on and off outside). We inquired about the $5 special and they said they were sold out, so we decided to take a pass and walked out.

We headed back south on Ossington to try to get the lobster burger (ground chuck, Old Bay seasoning, Nova Scotia lobster, lettuce, and garlic-and-lemon mayo on an egg-washed bun) at Rock Lobster. The line to get in was 1-1/2 to 2 hours. I think some of the guys actually considered waiting. Thankfully cooler heads prevailed and we decided to move on.

I'm not sure which place was next on the list. But, it was supposed to be way out east along Queen near Bathurst. Justin mentioned it would be at least a 15-minute walk each way from where we were. We hesitantly decided to go anyway. Thankfully Emily called them because we found out the place closed early. We would have walked there for nothing more than the exercise and fresh air.

So we turned back and headed west on Queen, up Ossington (past the Rock Lobster again) to BQM (just south of Dundas). This time we decided to go into eat. It would be our last stop. We had gone in earlier in the evening, but decided to pass because they didn't do take out.

Their burger was ground chuck with grilled pineapple, jalapeño, curry aioli, lettuce, and tomato. It was really good. I even ate the jalapeño peppers (which I normally avoid). With these particular condiments it suited the burger really well. Having a beer with the burger possibly helped too.

All in all it was a decent evening. The rain held off for the most part. It didn't go exactly as planned. I don't think we anticipated how busy the restaurants would be. But, we had a chance to sample a few good burgers (and, in my opinion, one great burger). So I'd call that a successful outing.

Old Friends

My friends Jim and Marilyn invited me over to their house up in Markham for dinner on the weekend. One of our friends, Ling, who now lives in Hong Kong was visiting for a few days. So they decided to round up the gang of former CPCers (Toronto Chinese Presbyterian Church) for a get together.

Our particular group formed during our college years through the Genesis fellowship there. That was more than 25 years ago. Over that time most people drifted to different corners of the city/country or even globe. I'm actually the only one who still attends CPC. Everyone else is gone.

The majority of us still live in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area). Ling was the only one who left the country. Monica moved west to B.C. where she resided for a number of years. She recently returned to Ontario with her husband and kids at the beginning of the 2012. So it was nice seeing her too.

Even though most of them don't live that far from me I rarely see them anymore. I suppose it could be the fact that they're involved with church and family life. Most of them have young children which, I'm sure, keeps them quite busy.

Anyway, it was great to have the chance to meet up with everyone again. Until next time...

Funny things people have said on Facebook

Here are a couple of conversations I'm reposting from my Facebook home page. The first is from my friend's nephew. It's him texting his mother. The second is from a high school acquaintance of mine. Funny!

__________________________________________

Me texting mom -

Me: I got an A on my chem test

Mom: WTF that's great :D

Me: ...mom do u know what WTF means?

Mom: Well that's fantastic!

True story! Gotta love moms :D"

__________________________________________

Gail R: Thinking of switching to Cox? They're huge! Let me know prior and maybe I can hook you up with a deal.

Like · 12 hours ago via mobile · 2 people like this.

Tom R: Next time I get paid, does cox hav a friends and family deal?

12 hours ago · Like

Gail R: Well they might, I've seen emails pop up so let me check. If I can save anyone money I am happy to do it. This goes for anyone =). Will msg you monday

12 hours ago · Like

Tom R: Righty-o!

12 hours ago · Like

Christine K: Did you really just say Cox are huge?

12 hours ago · Like · 3 people

*Cox Communications is the third-largest cable entertainment and broadband services provider in the U.S.

Old Friends, New Technology.

Wow... it's been pretty amazing... being able to hook up with old friends again. I owe that joy to the technological giant we now take for granted - the internet.

Donna Roberts, is the third old friend I've managed to reconnect with in recent years due to that technology. I found her, as well as many other former high school classmates, on Facebook. While I'm not an avid fan of the website, it does have its benefits I have to admit.

I first met Donna over 25 years ago. We were probably in grade 8 or 9, I can't quite remember. All I know is that I was pretty young because I used to deliver newspapers to the building she lived at with her parents. We actually never were that close, but to tell you the truth, I sort of had a crush on her. (If you're reading this now, Donna, I'm turning a little red). Anyway, after high school I lost touch with many of my friends. Some went to university here in Toronto. Others went further away, either here in Ontario, or across Canada or in the U.S. After obtaining their degrees some returned, others stayed put. From our home in Toronto we scattered like seeds in the wind.

Donna, was like one of those seeds in the wind. From Toronto she went to B.C. and eventually ended up in Denver, CO. Her life mirrors, in some ways, that of one of my other old friends I found on Facebook, Christine Mulgrew (in the photo on the right). She eventually married, had kids and ended up in the States as well. Christine is currently living in Los Angeles. It was great reconnecting with both of them again. We chatted on Facebook, updating each other on what transpired in our lives over the more than 20 years since we last saw each other. We talked about our relationships, places we've been to/lived in, how we "felt old" being in our early 40's... things like that. There was a lot to catch up on. After all, it was more than a half a lifetime ago since we were last in contact.

I had the wonderful pleasure of meeting Christine again this summer (2009) at our high school reunion. She flew in unannounced from California. After gathering at the school to reminisce, a group of us went to the nearby mall to Jack Astor's to have a beer or two. Even the mall has changed. When I grew up in Don Mills it was an open air mall. Not long after they flattened it to make an indoor mall. That stood for about thirty years before they knocked it down and redeveloped the area and built an upscale, outdoor mall once again. Funny how that happened... old becomes new again.

The other picture I have up there (on the left) is with my dear friend, Ron Grunwald. Of all my friends he's one of the people I've known longest. We grew up four houses away from each other. Just down the street. I believe we went to Cub Scouts together. He was on the same T-ball team as me. He was at my fourth birthday party for goodness sake. We've known each other since we were knee high to a grasshopper. Ron and I saw less of each other after grade 9. After graduating from Don Mills Junior High (now Don Mills Middle School), Ron went to York Mills Collegiate, while I went next door to Don Mills Collegiate Institute along with most of my other friends. Not long after, Ron's parents sold their home and moved north of the city and that was that. I lost contact with him. It was like he disappeared off the face of the earth. That was until one day, possibly back in 2005 or so, my mother told me he dropped by the old neighbourhood. She was working in her garden in the front yard of the same house I grew up in when a strange man pulled up in his car and asked if she knew who he was. My mother didn't recognize him at first. After all it had been nearly 20 years since she last saw Ron. When she found out who he was they had a nice chat and he left. I was quite happy when she told me she met him, but equally disappointed when she said she didn't get any contact information from him. All I knew was that he was down in Atlanta, GA now. That's where my good friend the internet came in. It wasn't too hard to do a search for him. Though I have to say I wasn't quite certain the Ron Grunwald I found was the same one I grew up with. I sent a brief e-mail out and, behold, it was. Marvelous! We met a year later, in 2006, when he came up to Toronto with his wife to meet his family and other friends. How great is that? For all the bad things the internet is known for, it has its good side as well.

In the end... I suppose it's best not to lose touch with those we care about. But, if you do, there's nothing that says you can reconnect and be a part of each others lives once again. Take care, my friends.

To see my 50th Anniversary High School photos click here. View as slideshow looks best.