Musings of Life

I attended my friend Jan's father's funeral on Saturday. He passed away at age 88 after living the past few years at a seniors' residence in Scarborough. His children and grandchildren would often visit him there keeping him company.

At the funeral Jan's sister Helen spoke about her dad. What she said reminded me a bit about my own father. She said he was someone who loved his family, though he never really opened up much emotionally-speaking. They knew he cared about them through his actions rather than what he said. She mentioned they didn't know much about his past because he rarely spoke of it.

This was something I realized about my own parents too - That I didn't know much about their past. So, one day, I decided to borrow a friend's video camera and interview them.

Now, I'm not sure how good a job I did. My mom was better. She had a greater recollection of her life when she was young and growing up in China. My father didn't go into a lot of detail. Maybe because his memory is getting spotty. Not only about things from the past, but from recent events. As well, I think he was more of a loner. So there may not have been as many tales to regale. That's something that continues to this day. If it weren't for my mom, he wouldn't get out so much.

Though sometimes they quibble when she gets naggy, he depends on her for a lot of things. She gets him out of the house to meet with their seniors' group on a weekly basis. And they go swimming three or four times a week which is great for their overall health.

He brings something to the relationship too. Though she's the cook in the family, he does the dishes. As well, he still mows the lawn, even into his early 80s. And since she's given up driving, he's the Uber driver too. He takes her shopping and to do their weekly activities.

It seems like they're fairly content with where they are in life. He likes to chill out reading his Chinese newspapers and watching any Chinese programs he can get on local cable. She likes to tend her garden and hang out with the grandkids whenever she gets the chance.

So far, so good. Hopefully my sister and I won't have to look into long term care anytime soon. A number of their peers have moved into seniors' facilities because of mobility problems or other issues. The residences are quite nice, but they're smaller and you can't putter around outside in the garden like in a house.