So Worried

 David in Thailand in 2012 (from his Facebook page).

The past few days have been a blur... an emotional roller coaster. I feel helpless. I feel spent. I feel a terrible sadness.

On Monday my mother told me she had been speaking with her sister (my aunt Betty) from Long Island. She said that Betty told her that my cousin David (in San Francisco) had cancer and had his pancreas removed. I e-mailed him that day and he told me that indeed he had cancer, but that they hadn't removed his pancreas.

The next day my mother told me she had spoken with her younger sister, Angela, who lives in France. She told my mom that David had stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Unbeknownst to my mother I knew that was ultra serious.

I did a little research online and found that pancreatic cancer is hard to diagnose. Sometimes it isn't discovered until it's too late after the cancer has spread to other organs. Jaundice (yellowing of the skin) can be an outward sign as well as weight loss, loss of appetite and pain in the upper abdomen and back.

Here are some facts I found about stage 4 pancreatic cancer:

Pancreatic cancer is often diagnosed at a late stage because it tends not to show symptoms early on. Stage 4 pancreatic cancer means the cancer has spread to other organs, typically the liver or the lungs. You can’t cure the cancer at this point, but you still have treatment options.

In stage 4, the most advanced stage, cancer has spread beyond the pancreas and into distant locations in the body. Advanced-stage cancers spread beyond the primary tumor location to nearby tissues, blood vessels, nerves, and other organs. This process is known as metastasis.

Pancreatic cancer is the fourth most common cause of cancer death. The median survival rate for stage 4 pancreatic cancer is between two and six months. Though the disease cannot be cured at this stage, treatment may improve your quality of life.

David said he would be starting chemotherapy soon. As well, he's looking into alternative treatment options.

I'm so worried. How could this happen?

Wonderful Day

Today was a pretty interesting day for me. I had the pleasure of bumping into both an old and a new friend. In the early afternoon I decided to head out for a walk. I wanted to take advantage of the fact that the weather was relatively nice. According to the forecast, the following few days were supposed to be wet. So, of course, I didn't want to regret not going out today.

When I got down to the lobby of my condo who should I meet, but my former classmate of mine, Anne-Marie? She moved into the unit two doors down about three years ago. We took graphic design together at George Brown back in the late 80's. Can you believe it? Now, nearly 20 years later, we're neighbours. How cool is that? We still have to meet up for a drink. We've been talking about it for awhile, but have yet to get around to it. Anyway, we had a good chat. We got caught up on the latest news about what we've both been up to recently. She was sick and had taken the day off work. I told her I had been laid off this past summer along with a few other co-workers. Economic downturn you know. It's affected quite a few people. Not only here in Canada, but worldwide unfortunately. I also mentioned I caught up with a couple of our other former classmates, Terry and Norbert, on Facebook. After talking for about 10 minutes we parted ways.

I was heading to a park off Yonge, south of Lawrence called Alexander Muir Park. It's not very big, but it connects to some other parks and trails in the area. At this time of the year it's very nice because the leaves on the trees are starting to change colour. A couple minutes before I reached the park I bumped into a new friend, David. He had just stepped out of his apartment and was waiting for the bus to come by. He was heading to the Bay to pick up a suit he had just purchased. I met him very recently at a career assessment course we had both taken. He's a really nice fellow. Smart and funny. It's kind of odd that he'd be attending a career assessment course. After all he's 65. You think he'd be thinking more about retirement at this point in his life. I guess he thinks he still has a few more useful years left in him before considering going that route. He's going to be going on vacation soon. His daughter is currently living in Australia with her boyfriend. He'll be flying there shortly to visit. It's funny... if I hadn't stopped to chat with Anne-Marie I probably would have never bumped into him. What a coincidence!

The hike along the trails in the park system was absolutely wonderful. The temperature outside was perfect. Somewhere in the mid-teens Celsius (about 60F). Not too hot, not too cold. It was a bit overcast, but I can't complain. Too much sun isn't good for us anyway, is it? The trails were relatively secluded. A brief respite from the hustle and bustle of city life. Every now and then I would bump into a hiker or two. At other times you would see people walking their dogs. There's an off leash trail that many dog walkers frequent in Sherwood Park. You'll see animals of all breeds and sizes there. Many of them are quite adorable. It almost makes me want to become a pet owner. Almost.

Anyway, I had a great time out. I think we all need short breaks like that. Taking some time from our hectic schedules and everyday concerns to just head out and clear our heads. It's definitely therapeutic, no doubt.