I'm reading through the Cold Hard Truth On Family, Kids And Money by Kevin O'Leary for the second time. It has some really good advice for people in general (whether or not you're looking to get into a relationship).
Here are the gems I've picked out.
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Part One: Love
Chapter 1: The Dating Game
For someone of more than modest financial means, Kevin O’Leary is surprisingly stingy when it comes to spending on dates. It’s because he came from humble beginnings where money didn’t grow on trees. He learned to respect it and wants to pass that sentiment along.
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Love, marriage and kids can provide some of the richest rewards in life - but only if you have a strong financial foundation to support them.
On spending freely while dating - “She won’t love me if I don’t shell out.” Really? If spending your money is her main goal, I’m (O’Leary) giving you free licence to dump her. Now. Cut your losses now. You’ll thank me for it later.
Relationship Due Diligence - Date at least 3 years before getting married. When you first meet you’ll be head over heels with your partner. Your view of them will be skewed. You need time to truly get to know one another; to discover compatibilities as well as potential problem areas. And you need time to figure out if you can work through them or not.
Pay attention to your partner’s spending habits, including how cavalierly they whip out their credit card. And do have important conversations about where you see yourself in the future. You have to articulate your long term objectives and see if they line up with your partner’s.
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8 Dates that won’t Break the Bank:
1) Take a stroll. Go for a bike ride, take a hike. In the winter rent skates and go skating.
2) Explore a museum or art gallery. Some of them offer free admission on certain days of the month.
3) Do some physical activity together. That’s sort of like number 1. to me.
4) Play board games. Many cities have board game cafés where the price of a coffee or beer will grant you access to stacks of games.
5) Go to lunch or brunch. It’s much cheaper than dinner.
6) Dinner and a movie… at home. Borrow a DVD from the library and make dinner at home.
7) Find a meetup group. You can meet people with common interests and possibly meet someone you click with.
8) Join a free online dating site. Don’t shell out your hard earned money on one with hefty membership fees.
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Chapter 2: Choosing a Mate
Kevin O’Leary’s advice on getting your potential partner to fill out a “Due Diligence Checklist” before considering them for marriage seems a bit over-the-top to me. It may be a smart and practical, but I doubt it would go over well with him/her. I’d suggest bringing up these topics over time through day-to-day conversation and making note of them instead.
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Red Flags to Look out for in a Mate:
1) Long-term liabilities. You’re not just marrying your spouse. You’re marrying his or her family and everyone in it. Do they have the ability to look after themselves in old age or will you guys be asked to help finance their long-term care?
2) Potential health problems. Is your partner healthy? Does he/she take care of him/herself? If not, it’s going to probably cost you later.
3) Crushing debt. It could be student loans, medical bills or credit card debt. How much of your partner’s debt you’re willing to accept is up to you. But your partner should be paying down the principal every month and working diligently toward a plan to pay off the debt completely.
4) Past bankruptcy or foreclosure. Do not get into a relationship with anyone who has declared bankruptcy or been foreclosed on. There is no better proof your partner is not good with money and assets than this.
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Chapter 3: The Five Languages of Money (or Four people to avoid… and One to search for)
Here are the ones to avoid:
1) The Mooch. He’s someone who’s always sponging money off people because “he’s forgotten his wallet.” or some other lame excuse. He always says, he’ll pay you back but never does.
2) The Spendaholic. He’s someone who’s always trying to buy friendship/love. Don’t be fooled. All he’s going to do is end up being in the poor house.
3) The Loafer. He’s someone who has a low standard of living and lacks ambition to aim for more. To me, he sounds a lot like The Mooch. He’s been pampered by his parents and relies on them to bail him out of financial trouble. (Sounds like me?)
4) The Thief. He’s someone who steals money outright or bamboozles people out of what’s rightfully theirs.
Here is the type of person you should be looking to meet:
1) The Meanie. He’s someone who lives within his means. He has a healthy approach to saving and investing money, and he knows how to set a budget and stick to it. He only buys what he can afford otherwise he abstains.
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