Was it Something I Said? - Book Review

Was it Something I Said - The Answer to your Dating Dilemmas, by Jess McCann.

I have to say, this book mainly gives dating advice geared towards women. It's another reason I decided to take it out. So I could see how the "other side" thinks.

Jess McCann is a dating coach based in the U.S. who's written previous advice books in the past. She has a long list of clientele, both men and women, who range in age from 19 to 67. In a previous life she was a top salesperson at her own company. She is married to her wonderful husband, Erik.

Ms. McCann has some really good advice in her book. A lot of it is common sense, but sometimes you need someone to guide you just the same. Because love or what you consider to be love can blind you to reality. The need to be in a relationship can sometimes lead you to overlook your own needs in order to appease your partner. Ms. McCann cautions against this because it will lead to imbalance in a relationship and, thus, someone will be unhappy.

On the topic of dating she discusses many things like - What to talk about on a date; or What to do when the check arrives?

On the topic of what to talk about on a date Ms. McCann suggests asking your date questions about himself. She says that everyone likes to talk about their beliefs and interests. And she says not to shy away from so-called sensitive subjects like politics or religion because they can sometimes "spice up" a conversation as she puts it. Ask about his goals, passions or his philosophy on life. Ask "why" questions. Instead of just asking him where he lives, for instance, ask him why he chose to live there. Why questions are much more interesting.

What to do when the check arrives - If it's the first date the guy always pays. You (the girl) can reach for your wallet, but if he lets you pay that means he's not interested and you should move on. On the second and third date you (the girl) should still reach for your wallet or ask if you can pay the tip, but the guy should still pay the bill. By the third or fourth date Ms. McCann suggests that you start reciprocating. She says you can offer to pay for pre-dinner drinks or coffee or ice cream afterwards. That way the guy won't feel like you're using him just to get free dinners. As well, you must say a sincere, thank you, at the end of dinner to show your appreciation. As the relationship progresses you (the girl) should offer to pay for things every now and then.

In developing a relationship she also talks about leaving your date wanting more. You should always end your date on a high note. Even though you may want to stretch things out and hang out longer you should resist the urge to do so. When you end the date on a high your partner will be anxious to see you again. It sounds kind of mean, but I believe it would work.

On a similar note, don't return his calls or texts too quickly or make yourself too available too soon after your last date. You need to build up some anticipation. If you make him wait a couple of hours for a return call or text this will achieve that. In the same way, after a date, if he asks you to see a movie the next day, tell him you're busy but you'd love to go the following weekend. You should wait at least three days before meeting up again. You have to make it seem like you have a life and that you have other things to do and that life doesn't necessarily revolve around him (at least not yet). Not moving too quickly will keep his interest level up.

This book covers many subjects. Too many to talk about here unfortunately. The chapters include - Texting and Calling; Dating; Hooking Up; Handling Sticky Situations; Social Networking; Internet Dating (which she is in favor of); Finding Commitment; and All the Right Moves. I'd highly recommend it to anyone (either guys or girls). Ms. McCann gives sage advice. And while it may not apply to every situation you find yourself in, it still is a good guide towards making smart decisions in your dating life/relationships.